Lucas

You spend your days birdwatching While petting your sapsucker And pelican debauching And goosing some poor clucker

The early bird will get the worm If "worm" is just a cutesy term You're using to describe your sperm

...Birdfucker

Now when you buy a chicken You don't want to pluck her, no You'd rather stick your dick in You filthy rubber ducker

And in your wettest dream you Let an ostrich and an emu Peck your neck and double team you

...Birdfucker You fuck birds There are no words Except Birdfucker

You'd get foul with an owl You'd make sweet love to a turtle dove You want to screw a cockatoo You'd plug your hole with an oriole The common loon is your favourite poon You'd love a swan to come upon You'd bury your meat in a parakeet You'd fuck an eagle if it weren't illegal There is no quail you wouldn't nail There is no stork you wouldn't pork You'd spill your sauce on an albatross Let loose your juice on Mother Goose

Oh yes, you're throbbin' for a robin, so good Misbehavin' with a raven And a woodpecker pecking your wood And the swallow swallows your birdseed That's what you need: To skeet-skeet to the tweet-tweet And you're fuckin' a falcon And your cock's in a hawk And you wanna make 'em all go squawk...

...Because you're a Birdfucker You fuck birds